


Inside the Grey

by thatluckyrabbit



Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Tamers
Genre: Angst, Child Loss, Depression, Family Loss, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Loss, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:30:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3756217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatluckyrabbit/pseuds/thatluckyrabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clearly he still wasn't handling any of this well, but who could blame him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inside the Grey

**Author's Note:**

> So I binged watched on Tamers in two days because my best friend recommended it to me, and now I'm obsessed, especially with Impmon. He's my new son and I love him, hes my favorite character (obviously), and being the queen of angst I had to write some angst with him in it dealing with loss. 8'D So enjoy! This is my first Digimon fanfic so apologies for any mistakes in canon! It takes place in the future, after the series, of course (if the ending of the show either didn't happen or was fixed somehow down the road!).

 

"Hey guys... What's up?"  
  
He sat in front of them, legs folded (criss-cross applesauce style, as Mako had told him it was called in school), eyes tired and the smile on his face light.  
  
He'd felt worn out for a long time now, and while it was noticeable to everyone else around him, he didn't even feel like bothering with the problem. So what if he was tired? He'd been through a lot worst, after all.  
  
_Lot worse..._  
  
Impmon had another toy in his hand, one of their old ones from the attic of their old home. It was that damn teddy bear of theirs, and even as old and covered in dust as it was, the stitching where the arm had once been ripped off was still there, but it was their favorite toy, something the two kids decided to start sharing just so he would come home to them. It was their favorite, but he couldn't keep it. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't keep it.  
  
"I know how much you guys love this thing..." He wiped the dust off the stuffed bear, placing it down on the ground before his tamers. No, not just tamers. They'd always been more than just that. They'd always been like his own kids, his own little babies that he loved more than anything. They'd always been babies to him, no matter how old they had grown. Ai would always be that smiling little girl with her hair in pigtails and Mako would always be that tiny boy in his dirt covered overalls.  
  
Even now, after all these years. That's how he'd always remember them.  
  
"I don't have much use for this thing, so I figured you two would need it more than I do," Impmon explained, voice soft and hoarse, matching his tired emerald eyes. "It's good to keep in a... place like this..."  
  
He swallowed hard. He thought he'd been doing better at keeping his emotions down, but even after all these years, it still hurt like a bullet to the chest. Nothing could hurt more than this, coming here and seeing his babies as nothing more than... Well, _this_. _They'll always be there,_ Renamon had told him, _In spirit._ She would know, of course, but even she had dealt with it better than he had.  
  
Clearly he still wasn't handling any of this well, but who could blame him?  
  
"...I don't know if she's right or not," Impmon said quietly, voice weak and cracking slightly. "I don't know much about heaven, if there even is one, but... there's gotta be one, right? You two wouldn't just... disappear completely, would ya?"  
  
_Disappear like data... disappear like..._  
  
Leomon was nothing more than a harsh reminder of Impmon's past actions on his conscious, but even that couldn't beat the pain he felt now. The hollow, empty feeling in his chest that he tried to put aside with a fake smile, reminding himself that if Ai and Mako were really there with him in spirit, they would be sad to see him upset... even now, with them gone for so long, he still did it for them. Even now he didn't want them to worry about him if they really did linger around. And now he really knew the pain Jeri had felt... the pain he had caused her, making her feel this pain... but she was gone now, too.  
  
Impmon took a deep, shaky breath, wiping at his eyes. "I-It's okay, guys... I don't want you to worry about me. I'll be fine..." He leaned forced to brush his gloved hand across the the two tombstones, tracing the name _'Ai Terada'_ on one and _'Mako Terada'_ on the other. With his chest and eyes burning and his throat closing, he forced a weak smile that didn't meet his tear-filled eyes.. "I promise..."  
  
He just hoped that, wherever they were, they wouldn't know he was lying.


End file.
